Launching a business is tough. Closing a business is even tougher.
When starting a new venture, you are driven by the exciting prospect of success. There is no similar drive to closing a business. Every step is a painful reminder of what you could have done better.
Entrepreneurs often must deal with the processing of emotions when a business idea fails. Some days are good, some days are bad. It took me 6 months to properly close out my company and process my emotions with the help and support of others.
I spent the first 3 months after closing shop rewiring my brain by working on healthy habits that had been ignored for years. Previously I dedicated every waking, and sleeping for that matter, hour of my life to running my company. I knew I needed to hustle to succeed, so there was no room for personal health. Just clench your teeth, grit, and grind! “Tomorrow is another day,” I would say, but ignoring my health to be a business owner took its toll in the bigger picture.
Some days I was a sad miserable resemblance of the powerful leader I once was, experiencing days in a row of depression at a time.
During month 4, I spent my time packing and moving my house that I had to sell to cover the corporate debt I incurred, which in turn undid the 3 months of habit building I worked so hard to establish. On top of that, I agonized over the personal financial risk I took and questioned all my life decisions leading up to that point.
Add in 2 weeks of ramp-up back on the habits, then 3 months of diet and exercise to drop 15 pounds, and here we are today.
The lack of stimulation while you figure your life out can be rough. Some days you wonder is there a reason for all this struggle? When will it ever end? What bad karma did you put in the world to deserve this? You think, “every action has an opposite and equal reaction.” “Hellooooo, positive reaction, where are youuuu?” Positive reaction never shows up at your door. You wait and wait and wait.
Some days you fill the time with meaningless activities like working in the yard or coloring in a book or reading but never feel fulfilled. You just get through the days. Most days are just getting through the days.
Some days you sing “she’ll be comin’ round the mountain” on repeat because you’ve become that looney toons then your husband comes home and takes his introvert out on a walk where you magically transform back into his wife. Ok ok, maybe this one is just me.
Some days you feel like you’re slowly rotting away and eventually you’ll turn to mulch. My husband says, “mulch is where the growth happens, look at our potato plant!”
Some days you want to say screw all those inspirational sayings that growth happens when you hit the bottom. Hanging out in a pit at the bottom is no fun. When does it ever end?
This is the entrepreneurs’ struggle you signed up for. It ebbs and flows. It is worth it, had the business model worked out, you’d be on the cover of Forbes magazine with an early retirement. Wins like that don’t happen without significant risk.
I don’t bring these emotions up to deter any aspiring entrepreneurs to go for their dreams. Life isn’t worth living if you don’t try to go for it!
And please remember, an average person doesn’t start a company. You are greater than average. Every successful entrepreneur knows sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. But the times you lose, be prepared for the wave of emotions that ensue.
Any other entrepreneurs out there that can relate? Let me know in the comments!